Fireworks--a Cautionary Tale

While you're out this weekend getting sunburned and eating too many hot dogs, please remember that this holiday is a celebration of our country's victory over oppression, the single most important day in our history--the birthday of the place we all call home. Take a moment to reflect on how amazing it is to be free in a world where so many people are not, and how fortunate we are that someone came here before us to give us the rights to live, worship, disagree, and raise our children and voices in the ways we deem appropriate. Our country, while imperfect, is a remarkable place to live. I'll give you a moment if you'd like.

When you're done reflecting (or just taking a little break), let me tell you about a little thing called "pyrophobia". That's the fear of fire, for those not fluent in Latin (thank goodness for Google). As a person who is clumsy and phobic by nature, Independence Day has been perilous for me. When I was nine, I kicked over a fountain—the type that spews sparks and colored bursts of fire for, oh, I don't know, thirty minutes or so—that had been burning for an eternity and instead of burning itself out after all the sparkly ammo was gone, it simply burst into flame and stayed that way. I had some crazy idea that kicking it into the moat of my sandcastle (dirt/rock castle, really) would be the best way to extinguish it. My foot caught on fire, and I still have a small, shiny scar just above my two littlest piggies. When I was even younger than that, maybe five, a wall in the living room of our house went up in flames after a Christmas display went terribly wrong. Add those two events to the time I caught a towel on fire while making dinner, and you have a full-blown pyrophobe. So, my second request is that this weekend you exercise caution when handling fireworks, even if you have no sympathy for my poor oft-burned extremities.

Lastly, have a great weekend. Enjoy your time away from work, doing whatever it is that you do when you aren't there. Delight in eating those hot dogs, even if you won't admit that you like them. Have a good time with your family and/or friends, be safe, use sunscreen even more often than you think is too often, and I'll see you next week (possibly minus a digit or two).