In which I introduce myself, sort of.

My name is Adrienne. There's no nickname for that, and as a child of the 80s it's clearly obvious that my mom was in love with Sly Stallone. The lifelong onslaught of "Yo, Adrienne!" jokes is like having a bad tattoo that you didn't have a choice in getting. Thanks, Mom. Love you, too.

I'm 26 years old and my husband will (very soon) be 30; we met 10 years ago when I got my first job at a local fast food restaurant; he was my manager, I had a boyfriend, and it was another two years before we even considered dating. Here we are, eight years later, still eerily compatible and the proud co-creators of the coolest 3-year-old girl on the planet.

I'm a mom, a wife, a rememberer of things both trivial and enormous, a lover of all food made of chicken, coffee, and/or zucchini. I work 32 hours a week in a lab doing important sciencey-type things and roughly 30 more hours a week from home as a writer of ad copy, informative articles, short fiction, and long-winded columns for Red River Family. I love to cook, paint and do crafty things with my daughter, and I really love reading and watching movies.

I've been writing for Red River Family since October, 2008. Regular readers know that I'm woefully inept at being a mother, but I remain convinced that there's hope for me yet. The kid is still alive and mostly intact, after all.

Apparently being a child means one is exempt from obeying the laws of physics and predictability; bodies bounce when they should not, and the next-to-impossible odds are always on your side. I'm relying on these things to carry The Girl at least to adulthood, where she can discover the binding laws of gravity and society on her watch, and I no longer risk criminal prosecution.

Whatever the result, I'll be discussing the adventures of parenting a nearly-four-year-old here every week. With any luck, I'll be able to elude the authorities and The Girl will continue to narrowly escape permanent physical injury or emotional scars. I swear to you, I feed and hug and water her.

Remember I said that if you're called in for questioning, ok? And check back every week for a new post. See ya soon!